I THINK everyone will remember where they were when they heard the sad news that Jack Fincham and Dani Dyer had finally ended their relationship.
I was at home when the news broke on Instagram. Luckily I was sitting down when I was told. I’m still in shock. I’m sure you are too.
The tragedy began on reality TV show Love Island (although some ex contestants have revealed some of it is staged).
Dani and Jack realised early on that their on-screen chemistry was a hit with viewers. Then, possibly because they were the least unlikable of the bunch, they were the overall winners.
They were unknown one week and showbiz power couple the next. When that particular sun shines on you, making hay fast is the order of the day.
In other words, they needed to grab the lucrative offers fast — before the next season of Love Island begins and everyone forgets who they are. Things happen fast in the real world of reality TV.
Like all holiday romances, they don’t always work out when you get home and the tan wears off. Unfortunately for Jack and Dani, if they split, they’d be less valuable as singletons.
They’d announce they were struggling, breaking up, getting back together . . . all of which would get the headlines.
There soon became two sides of public reaction to their constant on again off again stories: 1. Team Jack/Dani news. 2. Team who the f*** cares?
It’s easy to pick a side in this one. Being a celebrity without any particular stand-out skill is a strange one. It’s far easier for a pop star or an actor, they have something to sell.
Jack and Dani were just nice on the telly. It’s not that they have no talent, it’s just hard to stay interested, even for Love Island viewers, with a high tolerance for nothing really happening.
Where do you go from there? To the publishers of course! That’s right, Dani wrote a book about herself, just four months after people became aware of her on Love Island.
Like I said, you have to move fast when you’re in this celebrity bubble.
Her book is called What Would Dani Do? (Write a book wasn’t my first guess). “I was in a show, I won, I’m famous now, the end.”
I just can’t believe the coincidence that Jack announced their split on the exact same day her book was released. Isn’t that gas?
Quality time with Mona Lisa
THE Louvre in Paris, in conjunction with Airbnb, is organising a special contest where you can spend the night in the famous art museum.
The winner gets dinner and drinks and quality time with the Mona Lisa, and sleeps in a frosted glass pyramid beneath the museum’s iconic glass.
Reminds me of a night I had drinks with a girl like the Mona Lisa. I couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad and I ended up missing my bus and sleeping at the stop. That’s nothing to smile about…
My girl’s cray for the crayons
MY daughter had us up the walls recently. She started getting unusual red marks appearing on her body.
Obviously seeing anything unusual on your child’s body is any parent’s worst nightmare. These strange marks had us wondering what was up with her.
We checked her clothes to see if she was getting scraped or something. No, all seemed well. Did we change washing powders recently which might have caused a reaction, we wondered.
No, again all was the same as usual. We were considering a trip to the doctors when she told us what was really going on.
And she didn’t just admit it to us, she sang like a canary.
My daughter told us not to be annoyed — which always sounds worrying — and then revealed she had been secretly colouring herself in with markers and crayons!
We were so relieved we just burst out laughing, which confused her because she thought she’d be in big trouble.
It appears she likes nothing better than sneaking a crayon upstairs and giving herself a little body makeover. This included a bright red belly button and dark purple ankles.
She’s always drawing so they didn’t look like doodles, they looked strange.
She’s only five years old so I had assumed that a box of make-up was a long way off. Looks like I was wrong.
Lou know he's seen me naked
“PROBABLY!” This is the answer Michelle Visage gave us when we asked this week if Louis Walsh had seen her naked (Louis told us he had a few weeks ago).
“Honey, we all have our own dressing rooms but Louis hangs out in mine because I’m the coolest judge, you know that! I don’t care what he sees as long as he doesn’t take any pictures!”
Michelle is getting ready for the impending final of Ireland’s Got Talent. She seemed a little frustrated that all talent shows in this country are parochial. Irish people tend to vote for Mickey McGuire from down the road rather than the most talented.
She told us: “I’m trying to put a little bug in people’s ears about that. You can vote that way but you can also vote for the person with the most talent.”
Michelle also revealed what she has in common with us, she did morning radio in New York and LA for 17 years. But she added: “TV is way more lucrative though!”
With €50,000 for IGT’s winner, it certainly is.
Big pain in Spain
IMAGINE a Dublin cabbie in Malaga airport, coming home from two weeks in the sun with his missus.
The phone rings and it’s some snot from the regulator’s office with a posh Cork accent telling him there’s a problem with his taxi’s paperwork and he’s off the road for two weeks.
He’d be irked right? Now, imagine that same Cork voice said he “should have sorted all this out instead of swanning around Malaga like a flute!”
We do weekly pranks on the show but this one was an absolute belter. Poor Declan Ward was set up by his “friend” Johnny and his reaction was priceless.
He stood, sunburnt and tired in Malaga, not believing what he was hearing, shouting down the phone: “Are you calling me a FLUTE?!”. It made us all chuckle.
Declan saw the funny side when we revealed all. Hear it again tomorrow morning on FM104.
Facebook gold
SOME people have unusual hobbies but it would be hard to top the recent activities of my old pal Terry Fahy.
Terry has been a member of the Strawberry Alarm Clock team for many years now so you would think, in his own time, he’d take a break from all the messing. But no.
Lately, at the weekends, Terry has been transforming himself into spoof broadcasting legend Malachy Murray and interviewing the people of Ireland on camera.
It’s incredible how much respect you can get from the great Irish public by simply wearing a cravat and a suit jacket.
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Malachy’s dulcet tones are so professional, punters don’t realise that they are taking part in Facebook gold. It’s kind of like a comedy version of what Paddy O’Gorman does for RTE.
The videos are appearing on his Small t productions Facebook page and they are hilarious.
So far Malachy has taken on the people of Tullamore in Co Offaly and also Meath, with Galway next in the pipeline. Watch out Ireland, Malachy Murray is coming!